


The Bleedin' Badass.

by AdorableDisaster



Series: The world needs more Rowdy 3. [3]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Amanda gets her period, Dialogue Heavy, Education, Explanations, Menstruation, Mild Blood, Normal Life, Other, Pack Cuddles, Vogel is adorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 20:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11631252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdorableDisaster/pseuds/AdorableDisaster
Summary: “You’re bleeding!” Vogel’s eyes were even wider than usual. People didn’t just spring leaks.  They bled from holes that had to be put in them. Skin kept the stuff inside. What was wrong with ‘Manda’s skin?Amanda felt her face blush a cherry red. “Fuck” she breathed out. She was early. How exciting.Vogel was nearly vibrating.  “Where’s the scared? How do we fix it?”





	The Bleedin' Badass.

**Author's Note:**

> Since I spend far too much time thinking about the 5 Rowdies, I imagine how they handle pretty average/everyday situations that are new to them as a unit. This ficlet fell out of my head today. Please comment with any suggestions or typos. I don't have anyone read my stuff before I post, but if you'd like to volunteer, I promise I'll keep you busy as long as my obsession lasts ^.^

Amanda was sleeping soundly, her head pillowed on her arms, which were on top of Gripp’s lap. The big man rested against the wall of the van, snoring softly. Cross was pressed against her back. Martin slept against the other wall, denim-covered legs thrown over her bare ones. It was Vogel’s turn to keep watch. He sprawled across both front seats, listening to the bird songs that were getting louder as the sun came up. 

His nostrils flared. There was a smell. A smell that meant danger. Meant Damage. He popped up, eyes scanning the horizon as far as he could see through the windshield of the van. He hopped towards the back, about to wake the others, when the source of the problem caught his eye. 

“‘Manda!” Vogel hit his knees next to her, wondering how she was calm, still asleep even, when there was blood coating the inside of her thighs. The youngest Rowdy was confused. He was never able to see her hallucinations before. What was this? Were they more linked now, like he was with the other boys? Or was this something worse? Was it real? Was she dying? Why wasn’t she panicked? He put his hands out, ready to pull the tasty fear from her, but nothing came. 

Amanda’s eyes jumped open when she heard her name. Martin was awake now too, hands already gripping his bat. Cross rolled over and sprang into a crouch. Gripps wrapped a protective hand over her shoulder. 

“You’re bleeding!” Vogel’s eyes were even wider than usual. People didn’t just spring leaks. They bled from holes that had to be put in them. Skin kept the stuff inside. What was wrong with ‘Manda’s skin?

Amanda felt her face blush a cherry red. “Fuck” she breathed out. She was early. How exciting.

Vogel was nearly vibrating. “Where’s the scared? How do we fix it?” 

“It’s called “having a uterus” and It’ll get better on it’s own.” She groaned and covered her eyes. Cross and Gripps looked both a bit embarrassed, and like they were trying not to smile. Gripps was losing the battle with his face. Martin picked up her thick hoodie and draped it over her hips. She sat up, mouthed a “Thank you” at the blond man, and wrapped the sweater around her waist. 

Vogel was not satisfied. “What? What? How?” He leaned against his club. 

“Kid.” Martin barked. “It’s cool.”

“What? No. Martin!” He struggled to calm himself under Martin’s energy. “She’s hurt.” 

“I’m not hurt.” Amanda wiggled a little, showing her free range of motion and clear expression. “I mean, I’ll be cramping like a mutherfucker in an hour, but that’s what the joints are for.” She shrugged. 

Vogel was still clearly confused, but being that no one else in the van would join in his distress, he slumped back on his heels. Amanda actually felt bad for him. It made sense. Most of the time, she needed the boys to save her from her body. This, unfortunately, was a curse that wouldn’t be broken until she was at least 50ish. 

Amanda reached out a hand. Vogel took it. 

“Dude.” She started, her voice soft. “It’s just my period.” 

“Period?” He looked back and forth from her face to the floor of the van. “What period?”

Amanda sighed. “Didn’t you have health class in high school?”

Martin growled. Gripps’ face tightened. Cross opened the back doors of the van muttering something about taking over the watch. He swung his legs over the edge and put his back to them.

Amanda flinched. It didn’t matter that she’d only been with the Rowdies a few weeks. This seemed so normal to her now - she forgot how far from normal their lives were, and how farther still they had been before they’d all met. 

“High school?” Vogel tilted his head, looking at the joint in the baggie tacked to the van wall. 

“Forget it.” Amanda squeezed his hand. “I’m fine, really.” She smiled wide, letting him see her lack of pain and fear. “This happens every month. It basically means my body’s pissed off that I’m not having a baby, so it kicks open the door and throws all the shit out.” 

She felt rather than saw Martin’s smirk. Vogel understood the kicking and throwing, but not much else. 

“So, you’re okay?” 

“Yep.” 

“You don’t need anything eaten?”

“Nope.” 

“And you’re… not... having a baby.” He didn’t seem to understand why that was relevant, but it seemed important. 

“Nope. Can’t.” This time she felt Martin look at her and blink slowly. “Those pills that I used to take, before you guys saved me,” she squeezed his hand again, “they fucked all that up. Nothing’s growing in this lady cave.” With her free hand, Amanda made a ridiculous attempt at finger guns, pointing at her insides. Gripps actually giggled. Cross looked over his shoulder, and Amanda heard a snort. Martin was quiet, but he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, seeming calm again for the first time since Vogel had shouted. 

“Okay.” Vogel rocked back and rested against the driver’s seat. He released her hand and rolled his club between his fingers.

“Okay.” Amanda nodded. She’d been sitting in the yuck for this entire conversation, and though it wasn’t the first time she’d woken up in her own blood, she never particularly enjoyed the experience. Plus, she smelled like rusty pennies. Gross.

“So, I’m gonna go wash up…” She pointed to her backpack and Martin tossed it the short distance to her. She wasn’t even sure if he’d opened his eyes. Amanda was grateful they were in a State Park that had a real, running water bathroom. She leaned forward and opened the side door.

“Wait!” Vogel shot up, spine straight. 

“What!?” Amanda was startled. She thought the intense part was over for the morning. 

“You said this happens every month?” He was incredulous.

“Yea.” She pursed her lips and nodded. 

“You bleed every month and don’t get scared or have to stop or get fixed or die?”

“Um.” She’d never put it like that, but that was essentially the case. “Yea, I guess that’s it.”

“Holy shit, Drummer Girl!” Vogel tapped his hands to the sides of his head and moved them outwards. Mind. Blown. “You are fuckin’ badass!”

Amanda laughed, loud and clear. Gripps smiled. Cross nodded, eyes dancing. Martin grunted. 

“Damn right.” He said.

“Thanks.” She rolled back and kissed Vogel on the cheek. He preened under the affection. Amanda was sure he had more questions, but they could wait until she felt a little more presentable. She hopped out of the van and turned around, striking a pose with her hands on her hips. 

“That’s me!” She said, smiling. “Amanda B. The Bleeding Badass!” She slammed the door shut hard enough to rock the van.

Vogel whooped, Cross hollered and punched at the ceiling. Gripps cheered, and Martin howled. Amanda laughed and walked off. They were the best sidekicks a superhero could ask for.


End file.
